i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
