Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize