just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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