then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
