isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
