the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
