im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
