Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
