it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
