well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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