in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's like iHOP with fire
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I will be naked everywhere
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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