walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
