the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
