Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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