I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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