So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
