You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sober January is a disaster.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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