operation harelip BJ is a go
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
