Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
