I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize