you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
