As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
