SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
