Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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