i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
