i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
