For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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