at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
