everyone is single if you try hard enough
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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