I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize