in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
