He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
