Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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