It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
