Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
