this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
