everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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