I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
