Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
