is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
