dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
