Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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