For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
