Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
