I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
