he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
