Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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