So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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