well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
