Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
