so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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