LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
