I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize