She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
