My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize