btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
