This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
