she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
