you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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