So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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