Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
